Drina walked alone on the streets, she was 15 now and she was still alone. Her worn jacket let in the dampness of the New York city rain. Her black hair fell in clumped strings that draped in front of her face like a torn curtain. Drina’s violet eyes flashed as car splashed muddy water on her already soaked jeans. She shivered from the cold and her stomach growled in hunger.
The violet eyed Drina ended up in a alley made from two close apartments. Water dripped from leaking pipes and gushed out of Gutters, fearlessly she walked into the waterlogged space. Hidden by her crossed arms, in her hand was a sharp pocketknife. She found the place unfit for her living at set off again.
Walking in the gloomy streets her eyes were drawn up from her worn-souled sneakers and onto a shivering boy who was clutching his wrist in pain. His face was crinkled in pain, Should I help him? thought Drina.
Without a second thought, Drina ran over to him and slid on her knees over the slimy sidewalk to his side. He looked up at her with a spark curiosity but it was soon clouded over with pain.
Drina grasped his arm and checked for broken bones, making him wince. “Shush, it’s alright. It’s alright, you’ll be fine.” she whispered in as she examined him. Twisted. she thought, And a bad one at that. Drina, without a bandage of some sort, ripped off a strip of her shirt and wrapped it around his wrist.
The boy sighed, Drina looked at him. He had mouse-brown hair, bright green eyes that were like a flicker of color in the world of grey they where in. His shirt was grimy and jeans smudged with soot.
“Thanks.” he murmured, “I’m Alex.”
“I’m Drina, happy to help.” she said and helped him up, she led him to the back of a corner store where it was cleaner than the ally but not much by comparison.
Alex sat in a corner and bit down on his lip, he seemed around 16 years old. Drina walked up to the rusty ladder that led to the roof of the corner store and started climbing. Up at the top of the moist, flat roof she looked around for a place to stay across the busy street there was a perfect place; a bakery- behind the bakery to be precise. It was empty of anyone else and was sheltered by two other buildings around it, the only way to get in was through a slim parting between the back wall of the bakery and the right side of the other building’s wall.
“Get off my roof you stinking street rat!” yelled the owner of the store, waving an viciously umbrella in the air. Drina jumped down from the building, grabbed Alex’s good arm and ran towards the new hideout. The street was empty for a moment and they ran across before they could be smashed by a car.
Drina and Alex slipped through the opening and slumped on the ground. The space was roomy and livable. The smell of moldy cheese was faint and would soon be forgotten when used to.
“Your a street rat too?” asked Alex.
“Yea, since I was ten, left on the streets. I’m fifteen now, been living out here for five years.” she replied, “What about you?”
“My home was falling apart, family fighting family, I was fought over by my parents. I couldn’t stand it, so I ran. I was thirteen. I’m sixteen so, it’s been three years since I left.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s ok.”
“What did you do to your hand?”
“I was running from a wild dog and I fell–hard, but it didn’t get me. It ran off at the sight of animal control.”
Alex looked around their new “home” and sighed with satisfaction. Drina glanced at him taking in his appearance and what she learned from him and from watching. No one watches better than she.
Alex turned to her, she was looking at the gutter that threw up rainwater with ease, “What are you doing?” he asked.
“Inspecting the gutter. It seems clean but we’ll have to boil the water before drinking it.” she replied casually, the gears in her head spinning carefully.
“Well we’ll also need something else to sleep on other than the ground, some people leave blankets and broken mattresses outside of their houses. We could take those.”
“Okay, let’s go then.” Drina got up, helped Alex and they walked along the sidewalk like she was before, but now she had a friend.
The two teenagers bound by their lonely life, walked along the slime covered sidewalk, looking for things to furnish their new home. They would need sleeping material, wood or paper to burn, a clean aluminum can, and something to keep the rain off of them.
Drina, eyes sharp spotted a flash of metal on the side of a building and ran to it. She found that it was a large can, the kind that they put a lot of beans or chili in. She walked back to Alex and showed him the aluminum container.
“We can cook and boil water in here.” she explained to his confused expression.
They trotted onward, remembering the way back. Alex’s eyes popped in surprise there was a pile of blankets on the side of the road. He ran to the pile but instead of blankets it was a boy. A boy about his age, shivering from the cold.

This story is great. You have alot of editing to do. Get rid of unneeded words like in this:

"He had mouse-brown hair, bright green eyes that were like a flicker of color in the world of grey they where in. His shirt was grimy and jeans smudged with soot."
If you changed "the world of grey they were in" to something like "in a world of shaded grey" you could get rid of a few words that are cumbersome. There are other places like that along the way you can find and revise that will allow your vision to carry even more action and passion.

"Drina got up, helped Alex and they walked along the sidewalk like she was before, but now she had a friend." could read like: "Drina helped Alex up and they continued along the sidewalk but now she had a friend.

Less redundancy also allows more space for greater depth of detail and more vivid character building.

Good stuff! Keep on with the narrative and handle this stuff later, after your ideas are all out there.

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Posted in Gutter Store by UNKNOWN 3 Comments